Shhh, don’t tell… Oh, the tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Keeping secrets can cause depression, stress and anxiety in the best of the best. In a research report from Columbia Business School in May 2017, it’s stated that there are harmful personal effects just from thinking about secrets. The authors state that “It is common tendency for people to mentally revisit their past transgressions, which leads to a lower sense of well-being or unhappiness. This is because secrets serve as a reminder that individuals are masking part of themselves, which leads them to feel inauthentic. This cycle can hurt or destroy relationships and negatively impact our overall health.”
Some can view secrets as a bad thing. However, does anyone really want to know the whole truth and nothing but the truth all the time? How will this secret impact the other person? How will holding on to this secret impact one’s self? Can we appreciate both sides of how and who this will affect?
A friend of mine once confided in me about how she didn’t want to tell her boyfriend about a visit she had with her ex. She felt it was harmless enough as they were just meeting to exchange some personal belongings. I expressed my opinion (yes everyone has one) that if it were indeed harmless, why then hide it? She told me that her new boyfriend really didn’t like her ex and that he would really be upset by her visiting with him. He thought the items could be mailed or replaced and that she should just cut her ties and call it a day. Her thought, why upset him? From the outside looking in I can appreciate both sides. Ugh but what a dilemma and oh the stress being added by not telling the truth.
When it comes down to it, how we balance our emotions is key. Expressing gratitude and appreciation for both sides of the situation can help alleviate the stress that builds when we hide certain information from others.
Love & Light,